Since becoming a dad, I don't see anyone anymore.

Since Becoming a Dad, I Don’t See Anyone Anymore

I became a dad young. I love my little girl more than anything, but I don’t think anyone really talks about how much your life changes as a young dad.

Before she was born, I saw my mates all the time. We would go out, play football, sit around doing nothing. Now I hardly see anyone.

Most of them are still living the same life we had before. They can decide at five o’clock that they are going out that night. I can’t do that anymore. There is always something that needs doing, and I feel guilty even thinking about leaving my partner with everything.

The hardest part is the responsibility.

I always thought when I had a family I would be the one earning the money and looking after everyone. At the moment, I’m not the main breadwinner. My partner earns more than me, and although she has never made me feel bad about it, sometimes I feel like I should be doing more.

You see things online about what a man is supposed to be. Provide for your family. Have your own house. Have a good job. Be strong. Don’t complain.

When you are young and still trying to work your own life out, suddenly being responsible for another person can feel massive.

I worry about money more than I ever did before. I worry whether I’m a good dad. I worry whether my daughter will have everything she needs. Sometimes I even worry that my partner will look at me and think she could have done better.

But I don’t really say any of that.

If someone asks how things are going, I normally just say, “Yeah, good.”

And they are good. I am happy to be a dad. That is what makes it difficult to explain.

You can love your child completely and still feel lonely.

You can be proud of your family and still miss your old life sometimes.

You can have people around you and still feel like nobody is asking how you are doing.

I think young dads need that question as well.

Not just, “How’s the baby?”

Sometimes ask:

“How are you?”

Shout out to all the young dads out there.

Sam, Young Dad, 21

If you’re a dad who needs support

Becoming a dad can bring pressure, loneliness and responsibility as well as happiness. If you’re struggling, you do not have to deal with everything on your own.

You could speak to your GP, health visitor or NHS Talking Therapies. NHS guidance also points fathers towards peer and community support, as some dads find talking to other fathers easier than formal services.

Family Lives offers support for parents and families on 0808 800 2222.

If you need someone to talk to urgently, Samaritans are available free, 24 hours a day, on 116 123.